Still looking

I can be  a bit of a dreamer, constantly day dreaming about how my life would be in a different place, job and so on and so on, but never really doing much about it in my real life.  I’m finding the lack of confidence to be inspired and believe in what I could achieve.  So instead of getting up and moving on I stay here stewing away as there is a fear of losing my security blanket, it petrifies me.

After sitting in the same job for almost 12 years, only moving department a couple of times the end result has always been disappointing but you always feeling the pressure of, you need a job, a stable one, to pay for bills, food etc etc you feel stuck.  Over the years there has been the odd push on my part, I trained in hairdressing and makeup and now run a little side business offering these services to local clients.  This still holds an array of problems, a constant battle of pushing yourself and believing in your craft.  Sometimes enjoying the unknown of running your own business can become crippling and constant battle with emotions.

Just after finishing my makeup training I had a friend (or so I thought) make a comment on my Facebook along the lines of ” just because you have done this course does not make you a makeup artist”  clearly I was quite upset by this, it had come out of nowhere.  I had never said I was some big time makeup artist I had casually remark on my facebook business page I had trained and would be offering makeup services.  I knew full well that being only a beginner meant practice, practice, practice.  Over time, like any person starting a new venture you would accrue skills and experience over time.  This showed me in times of uncertainty and change some people will show their true colours.

Now after just over a year of starting this business, there are still doubts in my mind if this is really the direction I want to go.  Only time will tell

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